hodor

Page Three….      mishi  Posted on: 05-05-2008 @ 10:15 am

                                                                                                  

“nature has planted in our minds an insatiable longing to see the truth.” ~~~  ~~~  cicero

well, my mind has that longing in any case, but I don’t happen to see it in most of the minds I meet.

It keeps going…

mon 5 may 2008…    greenfield  thank you, Hodor, for your kind message. it’s only the second cyberspace message I’ve received.

I have never, ever lost the feeling that I am on the wrong planet, and I’m in my fifties. in fact, in the last ten years or so, that feeling has  become even stronger.The Department of Mental Health in greenfield, mass destroyed my life, my whole sense of identity and purpose, and sent my “mental health”, which they were supposed to help, presumably, into the worst condition it has ever been in.

they don’t believe that death from grief is possible, death from too much trauma. they only believe in death from pills and razor blades. they cannot think outside of the prosaic and ridiculous boxes taught to them in their psych courses.

I don’t understand the human code of communication and conduct, or I only understand it so far. animals I understand a great deal more. and they understand me. other humans seem to find me just as bizarre as I find them. I’m tired, depressed, sad, less interested in one breath in, one breath out than I’ve ever been in my life.
the ones I love, who loved me, are gone.

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see the DMH page of my website outline

wed 21 jan 2009, northampton —- what I was hoping for back in may last year, in the early days of blogging, was that people, even just a few, would take an interest. an activist lawyer or journalist turning up would have been ideal, but barring that, even just a couple of regular people who read about the destruction of my life by a juggernaut of an agency and empathized with the situation, felt the same hurt and outrage, would have been a great comfort. especially here, on wrongplanet, where other people with asperger’s would read what had been done to me….. but now it’s ten months, ten days that I’m homeless. now I also know the things about my life that matthew lacoy told me abin july 2008: organized crime trouble and federal protection. and if you don’t believe that, then you are just as dumb as I was not so long ago about the ways in which innocent people can get snared in a mob-world hornet’s nest.

july 2009, turners falls: still trying to fight the delusional label. I suppose I’ll be trying to fight it to my last breath. I didn’t dream up or hallucinate or hear body-less voices to get the thoughts I got about being in protected by one set of thugs on the government payroll from another set of thugs who are not. these things were told to me by a flesh-and-blood human being who is still in greenfield, where he’s been for years. there are no delusions involved. what did happen is that the trauma that had already just happened in my life last year combined with this new information from this man to keep me in a constant state of anxiety and anger, and in this state I pulled many more people and events into my protection situation than probably belonged there.

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read…    Spite and Malice…   The pygmies keep dancing

~~~~~  website outline  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008-2013 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved.

 

 

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