and now 2010

wednesday 6 january 2010…..

by: mishi…. Posted on: 01-06-2010 @ 12:42 pm….

Greenfield….

Have to admit I’m really annoyed today with my WrongPlanet blogging experience. I expected something different, and better, than what I get blogging among non-autistics. Maybe that was yet another stupid expectation, like expecting NT’s to apologize when they’ve been rotten.

I started this journal in 2008, and now it’s 2010. I sometimes ask questions: I have a lot of trouble smiling; do any of you have that? And most often I get zilch for response. And I’ve asked before: isn’t there anybody over 40 on this website? No response. And lots of other questions too. I thought we were here at least partly to learn about our Asperger’s, to support each other.

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Comment By: amarok: …Greetings, I am over 40 and also educated. I signed up here some time ago but have been so busy that I haven’t really explored. Your post was kind of at the top of the list in the blog section. Take care, Amarok 

Comment By: peterd:…  Yes, way past 40 and educated past the point of no return. But you knew that…

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(g.veronese mask at www.toscano.com)

all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008-2011 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved.

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defeated by wrongplanet

Page Sixty-one

Thursday 4 November 2010

Well, all this time I’ve wanted this blog that was named after Mishi to have a theme with water, because of Mishi’s great love for that substance. But today I had to give up on the Mistylook theme, at least for a while, and change over to Thirteen, the theme I use for most of my other WordPress blogs.

That horrible format that comes along from Wrongplanet when I copy my posts there and move them here causes a whole lot of trouble. The format won’t let me do what I want to do in setting up the page, and a few minutes ago an entire post was eaten because I was trying to do something the format apparently didn’t want me to do. Added to the Wrongplanet problem is the WordPress problem: namely faulty scrolling in the edit mode, and it’s been going on for over a month, and I wish the hell WordPress would fix it.

Anyway, I’m going to see if all these problems are a little easier to work around on the Thirteen theme than they were on the Mistylook. Don’t know…….     Much later: nope. But I’ve kept the Thirteen theme anway.

all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008-2011 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved.

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why not for us?

Wednesday 2 June 2010                 Turners tarting

Again I’ll break in on my copying of the original Mishi posts to write a new one, starting off with material quoted from Michael John Carley’s book Asperger’s from the Inside Out:

      “Because we are different from the rest of the world, often it takes, not concessions, but a different mind-set in our potential significant others to be able to see past our differences and find qualities they like. Holliday Willey again provides another beautiful example in Pretending to be Normal as she recalls someone she once knew:

                        ‘To him I was a friend he liked to do things with, someone
                         to share life with for a while. He never batted an eye when
                         he saw I lived with two dogs and five cats, instead of a bunch
                         of girls. He never expressed any concern over my weird habit
                         of grilling people for way too much information. He always stood
                         by me patiently when I freaked out from having had too much
                         sensory stimulation. He never questioned me or criticized me,
                         he just let me be. If only everyone could be that gracious —
                         maybe then, we would not even need a definition of Asperger’s
                         Syndrome.’ “

 

And I myself had a male friend like that for a number of years in my life. Not a romance, but we were good friends. Sadly, our families and our lives went in different directions, and we lost track of each other. But after 34 years, his sister has found me again, and we are in touch. I hope he’ll hear through her how good his friendship was.

Carley is discussing these issues in his chapter that deals with Aspies dating and forming couples, but I will apply the material above to all relationships. Why is there so little tolerance of our differences for so many of us with Asperger’s? Why is it like trying to find a needle in a haystack to find friends/partners who will accept the way autism makes us different? I suppose I already know the answers: people are selfish; people want sameness and conformity; what’s different is regarded with suspicion, et cetera. Narrow mindedness, shallow thinking, emotional laziness that doesn’t want to make the effort, intellectual laziness that doesn’t want to learn about the condition.

I want the right not to smile without being disliked for it, lectured about it. And the right not to look people in the eye when I’m not up to it. I’m tired of my autism symptoms making me a bad person in shallow minds: the absence of a smile is malicious. The absence of eye contact means I’m lying. The need for truth and for direct speech is nit-picking. Extreme attention to detail is nit-picking too.

Many people who will go to the trouble to understand diabetes or blindness or the needs of an amputee will not exert themselves one iota to understand mild autism, autism not severe enough to land us in special homes, but still enough to make us “weird” and very much not average.

part of the book Neverending Solitaire

all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008-2011 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved 

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